i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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