just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
