isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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