everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize