u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
