hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize
