thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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