all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
