Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
