I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
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She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
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I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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