I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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