What did we do last night that was yellow?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
