I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
