Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
