I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
