3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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