if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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