I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Randomize