It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize