turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
