Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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