please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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