I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize