I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
So much rum. So many feels.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
