i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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