so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I think my moral compass just broke
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
