haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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