That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
