theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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