Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
