and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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