Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
