Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
