i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
