Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
