Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
