go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm too high and old for this...
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
