You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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