eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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