she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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