So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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