I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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