i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
