I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
