**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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