Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
