I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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