if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
