Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
