Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
