i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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