i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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