Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
