I wanna bring you to show and tell
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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