Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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