They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
