I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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