he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize