So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
